The Wheels on the Coaching Carousel Go Round and Round

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Happy Friday, folks.

Chances are you watched the Cowboys-Giants game on Thanksgiving. It broke the record for most viewers for a regular season football game ever with 42 million (or 84 million eyes). The game it topped? The 1990 matchup between the 49ers and Giants.

Unclear how they account for the fact that most of us were actually just asleep on the couch after stuffing our faces with pecan pie while some of the world's greatest athletes just so happened to be playing in the background.

Pretty soon, I'm going to run out of Thanksgiving jokes, and considering that the holiday was already more than a week ago, these jokes have probably gone as bad as the leftover turkey you're still trying to justify eating. Seriously, throw it out.

Like my stomach, though, the College Football Playoffs are expanding.

Soon.

As in next season.

The final obstacle in the way of early expansion was the Rose Bowl, the grandaddy of them all on the bowl game totem pole. The original expansion plan was set to go into motion after the 2025 season, but with the unanimous approval of the six major bowl games (the Rose along with the Orange, Sugar, Cotton, Peach, and Fiesta), it was possible to push that timeline up.

After the other five bowls had already agreed to the early terms, the game out in Pasadena was the last holdout as it attempted to stick to its traditional roots with its 5pm ET January 1st time slot. At least one college football staple in LA had guts...

Moving the playoffs up threatens that window as this prime viewing time would be real estate for the new playoffs' quarterfinals games which are likely to be played on college campuses, but the game faced little choice in giving into the pressure. Despite the game's historical importance, the CFP held all of the leverage in this situation and could have cut the Rose Bowl completely out of the future playoff scheduling in revenge for the fact that each year without the expanded playoff would have cost networks nearly $1 billion.

I hope all of you expansion advocates out there are ready to see Bama and Ohio State make it literally every single year...

My friends and I engaged in our fair share of Nerf battles as kids, and it was a nice blast from the past to see the company's newest deal with stud college basketball players, Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd.

In a video posted to Twitter, the two UCONN women's team players faced off in a relay using a variety of nerf products, the loser earning eternal shame and a nice shower from a water gun.

Bueckers might have lost the race (having a torn ACL which has her missing the entirety of this season prolly doesn't help), but she is doing quite a bit of winning off the court with an estimated NIL valuation of $823K, aided by her 1 million Instagram followers and existing deals with Gatorade, Bose, and crocs.

Fudd has stepped up to fill the void Bueckers had vacated in the Huskie's offense, and her new status as the best player in the WNCAA is likely to boost her own already impressive $185K valuation and portfolio of brand deals with Chipotle and (Stephen) Curry Brand.

While most people have seen the cars and clothes resulting from NIL, few have heard the many heartwarming stories that have emerged. Beyond the shiny things, stars are finally able to pay for their families to come to their games, donate to important causes, and, if you're K.J. Henry and Will Shipley at Clemson, even start your own social endowment.

As a follow up to the athletes' past community involvements like donating five figures to childrens' hospitals and volunteering at various other organizations, the newly founded CLEM5ON endowment will be invested into social efforts on campus, both supporting the general student body and specifically women's athletics with more financial support to attack systemic inequity. Kudos to you, fellas.

This week has been an absolute whirlwind of news in college football with coaches changing their minds like a girl changes clothes. Rather than focus on one big story, here's your annual reminder that we all chose the wrong profession in the form of a condensed compilation of this week's head coaching announcements.

Matt Rhule: headed to Lincoln to return the Cornhuskers to their 90s glory days. He's getting a hefty 8 year, $74 million to do so, with $5.5 million coming next year and another million tacked on each year after. In total, the deal averages $9.25 million per year and is 90% guaranteed.

Hugh Freeze: the disgraced former Ole Miss and Liberty coach is headed to The Plains, pretty ironic considering the program championed its "family values" and "Creed" while fabricating stories of ex-HC Bryan Harsin having an affair to try to fire him only to hire a married man who was literally fired in part because he used university phones to call escorts...

Anyways, the Tigers are paying him $6.5 million per year for six years, making him the 8th highest paid coach in the conference. Most claim that the Freeze hire only happened because their top choice (and the guy most had written in with Sharpie...) Lane Kiffin turned them down, instead taking a raise and extension from Ole Miss.

An interesting note? There are rumors that a stipulation in Freeze's contract requires him to give up his social media usage after an incident at Liberty where he DMed a female student at the school accusing his players of sexual assault and the program for mishandling the situation... Perhaps if you feel the need to make your next coach agree to that, maybe you shouldn't be hiring him to be your leader?

Luke Fickell: wowza... One of the best up-and-coming names in the game was lured away from Cincinatti (where he took a G5 team to 4, 11, 11, 9 (COVID so only 10 games), 13 (Playoffs), and 9 wins) to take the job in Madison. The new Wisconsin head coach is making a guaranteed $50 million over the next 7 years, a sum the Bearcats weren't able to match. Home run, Badgers.

Kenny Dillingham: the 32 year old OC for the Oregon Ducks is headed home to the desert by taking the Arizona State job, becoming the youngest Power 5 head coach in the country in the process. His deal is for five years, and while no salary has been announced, he will be worth every penny if he can manage to right the sunken, violation-facing ship that Herm Edwards is leaving behind.

Brent Key: the interim head coach for Georgia Tech got to cross out the first word of his title in a promotion to the full time gig. After former coach Geoff Collins failed to win back to back games EVER in his nearly four years in Atlanta, Key won both of his first games en route to a 4-4 finish for the Yellow Jackets. His contract details are not yet available.

Trent Dilfer: the Super Bowl-winning quarterback shocked the CFB world by announcing he will be the next head coach for the UAB Blazers... The details aren't established, but the ESPN analyst is taking over a program which has been underrated nationally over the last few years.

Tom Herman: the former Texas head coach agreed to take his talents to the Sunshine State where he will be the next head man at Florida Atlantic. The Owls recently fired Willie Taggart after a 5-7 record. Given the humidity in Florida, Herman's commitment to hydration standards will be ever-important...

Biff Poggi: the former high school coach is headed to Charlotte where he will attempt to convince people that another "49ers" football team actually exists.

Deion Sanders: so this one is a bit of speculation, but after for sure being offered the Colorado job, there are rumors he also has his choice of the now-vacant Cincinnati job and the South Florida gig. There are reports that he will be making his decision on Sunday, and if he doesn't do it commitment-style with a hat for each team on the table before ripping off his jacket to reveal he's staying at Jackson State, I'll be a bit disappointed in Prime Time.

Other openings: Cinci, UNLV, Western Michigan, Tulsa, Stanford, USF, Colorado

Last weekend was beautiful. The Egg Bowl kicked things off in epic fashion, followed the next day by great games in Tallahassee, Chapel Hill, and Austin. The epic battles carried over into Saturday in Columbus, Los Angeles, and College Station. The biggest results:

• #5 (then #2) Ohio State got bullied at home by #2 (then #3) Michigan who was playing without their best player... As any reasonable fansbase would do, the Buckeye faithful immediately began calling for head coach Ryan Day's job following his horrendous 45-5 record.

• #14 (then #5) LSU was soundly beaten by unranked (then still unranked 😿)Texas A&M who promptly rushed the field... I get that things have been bad in C-Stat, but does a 5-7 record reaaaally warrant a $250K fine?

• #4 (then #6) USC outlasted the #21 (then #15) Notre Dame Irish in Caleb Williams' Heisman moment.

• #9 (then #8) Clemson was slain by #19 (then unranked) South Carolina who is playing some of the best ball in the country at the moment as they took down #7 (then #5) Tennessee just last week... maybe don't schedule Beamer and the Cocks in the month of November if you're an orange team with playoff aspirations?

• #16 (then #9) Oregon lost to #15 (then #21) Oregon State, managing to blow a 31-10 in the third quarter... side note: how has nobody tried to hire away Beaver head coach Jonathan Smith after the amazing job he has done turning around State over the last few years?

Most teams are off this week, and this is one of the more disappointing slates of conference championships in recent memory, but any upsets could have some pretty substantial playoff implications.

• #11 Utah @ #4 USC in the Pac-12 Championship on Friday night (the Utes pulled off the stunner at home with a ballsy 1 point win earlier in October)

• #10 Kansas State gets a rematch with #3 TCU... maybe things will be different with Will Howard as full-time starter?

• #14 LSU @ #1 Georgia in a game that lost much of its luster following the Tigers' dud in College Station

Side note: I have a terrible fear that TCU loses this weekend and gets screwed out of a playoff spot. To be very clear, the Horned Frogs should be a lock even with a loss to #10 Kansas State. Not only did the Frogs already beat them during the year, but TCU has the #1 strength of record, a win over the only team to hypothetically beat them, and the committee already set a precedent in a very similar scenario by letting in Notre Dame in 2020...

I've been desperately trying to get into futbol, but the first two games that I watched in the World Cup both ended 0-0... It was worse than watching a Jimbo Fisher offense.

However, I've been fortunate enough to have been helped by my friend at Organic Football Club's Newsletter, a short email simplifying the game that we Americans know so little about. Hoping to finally understand the hype 🤞

Cheers to another day,

Trey